I enjoy the quiet. There is so much rushing around, noise, and the guilt of not doing everything yesterday, that I sometimes forget what it sounds like. What it feels like.
It’s Monday, but the kids have off from school today and tomorrow. Logically, I turned off my phone overnight so I wouldn’t have to listen to the alarms. I didn’t want to turn them off because I have in the past forgotten to turn them back on. My husband is sick so I didn’t sleep as solidly as I would like, waking to his every cough just like I do when my babies are sick. They make the slightest rustle in the other room, and I wake. I call it mom hearing.
But after a bad couple of hours, my husband’s cough soothed a bit. And I slept in until after 7. Yes. This is sleeping in. And everyone else is asleep. And I the sun is still barely over the horizon, so I get to watch the color change from the comfort of my couch because 37 degrees is far too cold to go outside in my pjs.
The quiet feels like listening to my fingers tap on the keyboard as I write a story. It’s leaning back against the arm of the couch without having to worry about children bounding in. It’s the soft sound of the coffee maker and birds in the distance that I can hear over the sound of the heater keeping it a balmy 70 degrees in the house.
I am thankful for the quiet. I feel a little guilty for taking this time for myself rather than doing something that “needs to be done.” I’m going to try to not let that bother me. I don’t get to enjoy moments like this very often. Unless I’m up well before the sun. Most days, I’m up before 6, getting things ready for the kids to take to school. I wake the children, the husband, feed the cats, clean, do dishes, take the kids to the bus stop all before 7. Most of my blogs are written throughout the day, in between other “more important” tasks. Then I put the kids to bed and stay in their rooms because they want me to, and one day I know they won’t want me to, so I do now. And if I’m lucky, I’m in bed by 10. Even when I’m tired, I rarely fall asleep quickly then I’m up for a half hour to two hours trying to quiet my brain. There have been times I only slept two hours for the entire night because I couldn’t shut off my brain. Then when I try to nap to make up for it during the day, I feel guilty for not being more productive.
Most days, I already get about 7 hours of sleep, if I’m lucky, and its rarely a full seven hours because of that mom hearing. I’d like to get 8 hours of sleep but hahahahahahahaha. Yeah, that’s not going to happen unless I’m really sick. I’ve got to be feeling dreadful in order for me to not wake with every noise the kids make. So, I’m probably not going to take away from that for a few minutes of quiet.
As much as I enjoy the quiet, I wouldn’t trade in the noise and hustle of my boring day-to-day life. The kids are the most amazing thing in the world, or at least I think so. I get to be their mommy.
Right now, they are in the other room, my bedroom, watching morning cartoons. They woke, went in there, and woke their daddy. Poor guy. He’s probably asleep already though, he could sleep through a marching band I think. Falls asleep at the drop of a hat. How I envy that. In a little while, I’ll think about seeing if he needs me to rescue him. But for a few more minutes, I have the quiet.
dwwriter 