Category Archives: Personal Life

Potty Training Triplets

I have mentioned before that I have triplets now. They are 2 years old (going on twenty I think). It’s a joy. Most of the time. The rest of the time I wonder where my sweet babies have gone and who switched them with the little hellions from outer space.

We have passed several hurdles. The first was sleeping through the night. My kids were good sleepers. And we had no real issues. They were born at the beginning of April by their first Mother’s day they were sleeping at 5-6 hour stretches at night. By Father’s day they slept 8 hours regularly. We just switched them to toddler beds instead of cribs and they didn’t have any issues. But they do like getting up at night. Sometimes. P1070344

Our second hurdle, was weaning. I have taken the long approach to weaning. My goal was to make it to two years.  I researched the subject often and decided that this was the best course of action was a longer exposure to breastmilk decreases the risk of developing type II diabetes. We have type I and type II diabetes in our family. So I decided it was best for them. We are now officially no longer nursing.  They have been off the bottle for a long time so the only time they got breastmilk was when they nursed. They take regular milk at night, but they don’t get bottles. We use no spill sipper cups. They also use straw sippers. Once we get them to not turn over their cups regularly, we’ll move on to normal cups.

The third hurdle that we’re attempting to handle right now is potty training. This is a pretty big issue for us because there are THREE OF THEM. And one of me. Daddy is gone is most days with work. So it’s just me trying to potty train all of them. And I have felt more than once that I’m outnumbered. We started off once a day on the potty. Then I use a combination of cloth and disposable diapers (cloth during the dat at home, disposables at night and when we go out). We recently upped potty time to twice a day. When they get up from nighttime and when they get up from naptime.

potty-trainingAnd this is taking forever. They are more than happy to tell me that they have dirtied a diaper but they have shown reluctance to using the potty. Right now they get treat whenever they use the potty. But there are some days, sometimes several days in a row when no one uses the potty even once.

I have read about the three day potty training. And if I had only one kid. No problem. I would do it. But with THREE?! Oh heck no. If I tried the three day potty training several things would happen. 1. The only thing I would have time for is putting kids on the potty. 2. I wouldn’t get any sleep. 3. I would be doing laundry all the time.  For at least three days. So I guess you can imagine why I’m not ready to try this. Many of these “fully potty trained” children in three days the parents still get them up at night several times to go potty.

I have also read the “let them run around naked.” My answer is: Not Happening. My son gets his diaper off often enough without that and has peed and pooped on my carpets several times because of this. I really don’t want my home to smell like an outhouse.

Until they are potty trained though, we continue to spend $100-$200 a month a diapers. Are there any other tips on potty training triplets? If I had more help, and less room for the children to terrorize me with, I’d be happy to try the three day method. Maybe I should just let my boy go outside naked. I’ve been told that helps. But then again, it’s so freaking hot (yesterday’s high was near 100) so maybe no.

 

 

 

 

 

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Happy Birthday to Me.

My birthday is coming up. And I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it. I’m no where close to where I once thought I’d be at this particular point in my life. It’s not even a “milestone” age. I just once thought I’d be, if not a published writer, then at least successfully pursuing a career somewhere.

But I’m not. I’m a stay-at-home mom of three little ones. And this is something I have never dreamed that I’d be. There are days that I love being able to stay with my kids all day. Then there others where I really don’t want to share a room with them by 10am and I have them to myself for another eight hours.

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But I really shouldn’t complain. There are many people who want to be able to stay at home. I’m lucky that we can “afford” for me to be here with my kids.

And what I mean by that is the cost of childcare for my children is currently more than most jobs I could get. So it’s more affordable for me to stay here. Originally I thought “Yay! Lots of free time to work on my writing!”

What happened was: change a diaper. burp baby. wipe up the mess. Rock them gently. Teething! Then when they turned a year. Oh My God! They’re walking. No you can’t go there. Put that back. You’re going to break it! Now they’re two. And it’s potty training all day. Don’t you dare sass me. Put that back. You took your diaper off…AGAIN! And pooped on the rug. Sigh.

Still. The more independent they get, theoretically I get more time. Most of my writing even now is a sentence here. A few words there. If I’m lucky I’ll get a whole paragraph down.

But I’ve realize that if I really want to write I’ll make time for it. I’ll get up a few minutes early. Even an hour early doesn’t guarantee a full hour writing though. I’ll try to stay up a little later.

I have been participating in Camp NaNoWriMo. And I said this is the year that I win! I said that every year. But I’m making it a priority this year and I have stayed more or less on track. Yes there was one day that I only wrote 100 words. But I’ve also had a 2000 word day. And multiple 1800 word days that more than made up for it. I have sixteen days left and I’m siting at 25810 words of all brand new story.

Smiling Mother And Daughter

I’ll also write while they nap. This is my heaven time. They’re all asleep and I have anywhere from 1 to 3 hours of ME time. I often don’t spend all of it writing. I’ll do a little of everything during this time. But my two favorite activities: a nap, and writing.

But back to my birthday. No I’m not where I thought I’d be. I’m in a completely different world. However, I am making finally making this world work for me. And all I want for my birthday is a day. Yep. One whole day where I don’t have to lift a finger for housework, or taking care of kid and I can sleep and write to my hearts content.

Yeah. Like that’d happen. I suppose I’ll have to settle for the composter I’ve had my eye on for years and a new book. Maybe a little bling for my car. So happy birthday to me.

 

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Filed under Parenting, Personal Life, The Writing Life, Writing Challenges

Procrastination Sation

I am probably the world’s best procrastinator. I’m so good that I started this particular post years ago, left mid-sentence and never came back. Today is the day that I finish it. Maybe. I’ll give it my best. But what if, instead of procrastinating, what I’m really doing is letting life tell me what I should be doing. I need to do dishes. Fold clothes. Put the kids to nap and/or bed. Change diapers. Vacuum….again.

The list never ends. And that’s why this post and blog died. Let’s face it, no posts in three years? Yep. Dead. Maybe it’s not dead dead, just kind of dead. Like a rechargeable battery.

But to get back on point. I procrastinate in a number of ways.  I can be completely happy staring at a blank wall, watching life in another reality unfold around me. In fact, I can do multiple things at once while putting of what I should be doing. For instance, I can watch TV while I make a phone call that I didn’t need to make and look at random stuff on the internet, while I put off filling out a background check so I can work on base.

While in school, I often thought that procrastination was good for me. I put off everything to the last minute. Then I’d plunge ahead  and write a paper in record time. And the adrenaline is pumping. I think I just wrote the BEST paper ever. It never was. Perhaps the best paper written in record time like that.

Even now, although I’m writing, I’m actually procrastinating. I’m procrastinating the editing of the novel that I wrote, house work, my camp nano novel (which I’m liking so much more than my previous novel)…and a couple of other things that I’m putting off as well. My point is…I finished writing the first draft of my novel. But now I can’t seem to make myself edit it. I haven’t picked up since December of last year. Some time and distance is good. I’ll admit, but I think I’m actually scared to finish it.

And so I do everything I can to keep myself busy from writing, or editing. Or anything that might further my novel.

Okay, that may not be the only reason, but it definitely is one reason behind all of these things. I’m so busy, and I procrastinate on all of it so I don’t “have time” to work on what really matters to me.

When I was working in the archives at school. I met a British guy who was pursuing a degree in art. He is, what I call, absurdly rich. He wears a kilt. He’s blunt, and says things that made me laugh so hard I actually thought I might burst sometimes. But he’s completely serious. He loaned the archives a collection of medieval manuscripts and illuminations worth well over a million dollars. And all of this is irrelevant, because he’s also passionate about art and philosophy and history.

Passion. It’s like the opposite of procrastination. It lights a fire in your soul. In your mind. And you can’t let it go. And I love writing. I really thought I was passionate about it. But if I am passionate about writing, why do I let life and everything else get in the way and procrastinate?

I’m afraid. Not that I might finish something, but that I’ll get to that one point, ready to jump into publishing and…there isn’t anything to jump into. That I’ll send off letter after letter to get rejection after rejection. The abyss of being unpublished because I’m simply not good enough.

I have had family, friends, teachers, even complete strangers complement my writing. And yet I’m terrified that once it’s done I’ll find out everyone lied. In fact, nobody likes it, I’m a terrible writer. That is my fear.

And so I let life get in the way. And I let things slide. Because if it’s not finished, then it can’t be rejected.

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Filed under Personal Life, The Writing Life, Writing

To My Baby

Happy

Happy (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Before you read any further, I would like to warn you that there are going to be acronyms, and a “tiny” bit of personal information. Read further at your own risk.

 

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When I wrote about the personal and professional life, I deliberately left one thing out: That my husband and I are also trying for a baby. At that time, I wasn’t sure who were telling, as it turns out, we don’t care who knows. In fact, we’d like everyone to know so that if anyone is having similar problems, they can understand that they are not alone.

We cannot have a baby the “normal” way. At this point, I’m beginning to think that we need to redefine normal because infertility affects 12% of the population. That’s pretty high. Anyways, so we were looking into ART which includes IVF and IUI. We had a preliminary consultation with the fertility doctor.

Our doctor told us that we look like great candidates for IVF, although not so much for IUI, or hormone therapy. The cost was slightly more than what were originally thinking. And to pay for it would wipe out our savings. essentially leaving us without the money to pay for other necessities, like bills (food, electricity) let alone anything for a baby.

And on that note, we can approach things three ways. 1. There are financing options, but my credit isn’t all that good. 2. There are a few grants out there, and we have every intention of applying a few that we can (many are location specific, and sadly, none are in our location). 3. Home-grown fundraising.

We are definitely looking into the second option. And as part of the search to find grants that we can apply to, we found one that required a letter to our future baby.  And, because we’re so nice, we’ve decided to share.

Dear Baby,

Your mommy and daddy have gone through much before they could meet you. When she was only 23, your mommy was diagnosed with melanoma, a cancer that could potentially kill her. Your daddy was in several car accidents, breaking his back several times over the years.

The result was that mommy and daddy couldn’t get you like most parents do. They needed help if they ever wanted to see you. Many babies come without planning. But mommy and daddy planned and saved just so they could have you.  And that makes you a precious miracle.

Your mommy and daddy knew that they wanted a family. When some methods they tried failed, they set up a plan. Mommy and daddy both wanted to lose weight. Mommy lost 40 pounds in the year up to trying for you again. They did research to see the best place for help in their area. The looked at ways to get this help in an affordable fashion as well. They were prepared.

When their first appointment came, their doctor said they were perfect candidates for a specific kind of help. And that made them very happy.

Baby, we do not yet know if you are a girl or boy, but we do know that we will love you with all our hearts. We are prepared to care for all your needs, for the ups and the downs. We will support you when you need it.

We hope that we can show you to be a good person, with strong morals but also independent. Do not follow the crowd simply because that’s what everyone else is doing; do it because it’s what you want to do, and it’s the right thing to do. Remember that someone can only get you down if you let them. And that you can do anything you set mind your to. Dream big and play fair. Try to stay healthy. Exercise can be fun, and it’s good for you too. Learn to laugh at yourself and your mistakes. You will make mistakes, and that’s okay.

And remember “Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much.”

With all our love,

Mommy and Daddy

 

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