My birthday is coming up. And I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it. I’m no where close to where I once thought I’d be at this particular point in my life. It’s not even a “milestone” age. I just once thought I’d be, if not a published writer, then at least successfully pursuing a career somewhere.
But I’m not. I’m a stay-at-home mom of three little ones. And this is something I have never dreamed that I’d be. There are days that I love being able to stay with my kids all day. Then there others where I really don’t want to share a room with them by 10am and I have them to myself for another eight hours.
But I really shouldn’t complain. There are many people who want to be able to stay at home. I’m lucky that we can “afford” for me to be here with my kids.
And what I mean by that is the cost of childcare for my children is currently more than most jobs I could get. So it’s more affordable for me to stay here. Originally I thought “Yay! Lots of free time to work on my writing!”
What happened was: change a diaper. burp baby. wipe up the mess. Rock them gently. Teething! Then when they turned a year. Oh My God! They’re walking. No you can’t go there. Put that back. You’re going to break it! Now they’re two. And it’s potty training all day. Don’t you dare sass me. Put that back. You took your diaper off…AGAIN! And pooped on the rug. Sigh.
Still. The more independent they get, theoretically I get more time. Most of my writing even now is a sentence here. A few words there. If I’m lucky I’ll get a whole paragraph down.
But I’ve realize that if I really want to write I’ll make time for it. I’ll get up a few minutes early. Even an hour early doesn’t guarantee a full hour writing though. I’ll try to stay up a little later.
I have been participating in Camp NaNoWriMo. And I said this is the year that I win! I said that every year. But I’m making it a priority this year and I have stayed more or less on track. Yes there was one day that I only wrote 100 words. But I’ve also had a 2000 word day. And multiple 1800 word days that more than made up for it. I have sixteen days left and I’m siting at 25810 words of all brand new story.
I’ll also write while they nap. This is my heaven time. They’re all asleep and I have anywhere from 1 to 3 hours of ME time. I often don’t spend all of it writing. I’ll do a little of everything during this time. But my two favorite activities: a nap, and writing.
But back to my birthday. No I’m not where I thought I’d be. I’m in a completely different world. However, I am making finally making this world work for me. And all I want for my birthday is a day. Yep. One whole day where I don’t have to lift a finger for housework, or taking care of kid and I can sleep and write to my hearts content.
Yeah. Like that’d happen. I suppose I’ll have to settle for the composter I’ve had my eye on for years and a new book. Maybe a little bling for my car. So happy birthday to me.